Look Ma, No hands!

Daily stories from a girl with one hand and no soul

8 notes

Miss Katieeee….

as we all know, kids say the darndest things! my most recent hilarious interaction was with a 4-yr old

Child: Miss Katie!! Look at your hand!!

Me: OH my goodness!! Where’d it go???

Child: I don’t know

2 hours later

Child: Miss Katie, you STILL don’t have your hand?

Me: Nope, still don’t have it

Child: *thinking deeply* well, where was the last place you remember seeing it?

2 notes

I went to give my co-teacher a marker today, at which point, the marker fell on the floor. I laughed, picked up the marker and said “three hands, one marker” My co-teacher couldn’t breathe she was laughing so hard.

I mean, it was at least 66.6% her fault for dropping it.

9 notes

Wow! You’re a lefty??
Nah, I don’t have a hand on my right arm, but I choose to write with the crook of my elbow and hold things by balancing them on my arm instead of using the perfectly capable hand I have on the other side. #Idiot.

8 notes

Stub at the theme park!

i recently moved to Florida with my boyfriend. i’m being introduced to several of his friends and accompanying them on outings. i noticed his best friend, adam, got uncomfortable every time i would crack a joke about being physically disabled.

i prey on the weak.

while at dinner, i whipped out my Boston Red Sox hoodie. which is unacceptable because they’re all Tampa Bay fans. i explained to them that the hoodie was actually stolen from my friend jack (jack just so happens to be a double leg amputee with a sense of humor similar to mine). adam asked me how i stole it. i replied “well, jack has no legs…so i took it and ran… and he couldn’t catch me.”

adam laughed uncomfortably and said “Katie, that’s horrible!!”

"it’s ok!!! i have one hand. i can say that"

later, we went to a theme park and we were waiting in one of those awful zig-zagging lines. there were about 10 of us in the group, so adam often ended up on the other side of the dividing railing. adam held up his hand and said “high five, katie!!” while he was on my right side.

"adam. inconsiderate. i would love to give you a high-five, but i OBVIOUSLY don’t have a hand to do it with!!"

adam smiled, but still wasn’t unsure of whether laughter was appropriate.

a little later, i dropped something on the ground, adam picked it up and handed it to me. i thanked him and told him about my friend back home who used to tell me to “get hands” every time i dropped something. adam giggled.

finally, when adam was on my left side and held out his fist to give me “daps” i shifted everything i was holding in my right arm to my left and pounded adam’s fist with stub at which point he burst out laughing.

initiation… complete.

Filed under amputee amputee humor amputee stories busch gardens theme park disabled

3 notes

why is stub a boy?

i often get asked this question when i say “look at stub!! he’s all red” or “give stub a belly rub, he likes that” or something of the sort.

ANSWER:

"BECAUSE HE LOOKS LIKE A PENIS, DUH."